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Chuck Norris jokes on .Net and computers

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sirp

Chuck Norris jokes on .Net and computers:

* MVC actually stands for Model-View-ChuckNorris. Controller is just one of his nicknames.

* Chuck Norris was written in C# which itself was written in Chuck Norris

* You don’t follow Chuck Norris on Twitter. He follows you, finds you, and kills you

* The design of Silverlight DeepZoom was directly inspired by Chuck Norris’ powers of bionic vision.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t write code…oh no, he thinks about the finished product and the code appears.

* Chuck Norris has no need for virtual methods. Nothing can override Chuck Norris.

* A synchronize operation doesn’t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.

* Chuck Norris invented recursion to see what would happen if he roundhouse kicked himself.

* Chuck Norris can multi-thread on a single processor by breaking it into pieces.

* Chuck Norris wrote a program that calculated the last digit of pi.

* Chuck Norris’ compiler is afraid of displaying warnings to him. It just fixes the code automatically.

* Chuck Norris uses Vista with UAC turned on. He has received no warnings. Ever.

* Chuck Norris monitor has no glare…no-one glares at Chuck Norris.

* The system works because Chuck Norris tells it to work

* Chuck Norris doesn’t need a test suite. The test suite needs Chuck Norris.

* CPUs run faster to get away from Chuck Norris

* Chuck Norris normalizes all schema just by inserting random data

* Packets travel faster than the speed of light for Chuck Norris, but he can still catch them

* Chuck Norris’s brain is his revision control, and it works better than git

* Chuck Norris can finish an infite loop in 1.3 seconds.

* Code written by Chuck Norris cannot be optimized.

* Chuck Norris never dies. He simply returns 0.

* Chuck Norris can break Moore’s Law

* Chuck Norris doesn’t need compilers nor editors. He roundhouse kicks the disk and the bytecode appears.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t use GOTO. Code comes to him.

* There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Chuck Norris allows to occur.

* 90% of the worlds spam is handtyped by Chuck Norris. It takes him only 3 minutes.

* Chuck Norris can parse invalid XML

* Every time you don’t use “use strict” Chuck Norris kills a kitty.

* The best compression algorithm in existence are Chuck Norris fists.

* Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

* Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors

* The one true bracing style is the one Chuck Norris uses.

* Every program Chuck Norris has written can be run backwards. It will rollback whatever it did.

* No matter how you encrypt your traffic, Chuck Norris can read it by just looking at the cable. His ears can intercept wifi transmissions.

* Chuck Norris can enrich himself simply by hacking your bank account. He does not do this because there is no challenge in it.

* This blog does not contain a “Chuck Norris” category because Chuck Norris contains this blog.

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