Programming Jokes

[Loki]

Saw these and for some reason found some of them amusing:

auto accident;

static electricity;

struct by_lightning;

char grilled;

short circuit;

short changed;

long johns;

unsigned long letter;

double entendre;

double trouble;

union jack;

void cheque;

unsigned cheque;

struct dumb by[sizeof member];

union onion;

long long ago; /* in a galaxy far far away */

const ipated;

case closed:

double or_nothing;

short sighted;

void if_removed; /* warranty */

unsigned anonymous;

men() {

goto pub;

pub:

return p!ssed;

}

women() {

do

goto bathroom;

bathroom:

while (1) ;

}

Edited March 20, 2007 by Loki

[syk071c]

2 B || !! 2 B... that is the question

[Loki]

There are 11 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who say "this joke should be 'there are 10 types of people in the world...'".

[kryho]

http://bash.org/?top

go there ;p some funny quotes

[Loki]

http://bash.org/?top

go there ;p some funny quotes

Genius.

EVERYBODY, at least go and read the one starting "<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book"

I'm dying laughing here. Funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

Edit: this was worth editting for:

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b

<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?

<BonyNoMore> wait

<BonyNoMore> never mind

Edited March 28, 2007 by Loki

[Ufo-Pu55y]

OMG, this thread's killing me...

<anamexis> oh man

<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right

--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind

<anamexis> and it exploded

<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard

<anamexis> but I got it away just in time

<-- Beefpile has quit (sick ****ers)

<anamexis> :<

. . . . .

[Fungus]

Oh oh this is killing me! IRC rules

[human]

well wanna best joke? look at vista

as an asm coder i cant complain about xp, its most secure,stable,fastest and even faster than win9x due only 32bit code, never tried yet xp64 so maybe it will beat vista. and when i buy soon core2 duo one core will run xp other will run apps and it will be more faster.

Edited March 28, 2007 by human

[Vrane]

well wanna best joke? look at vista smile.gif

haha good one

[Loki]

well wanna best joke? look at vista

as an asm coder i cant complain about xp, its most secure,stable,fastest and even faster than win9x due only 32bit code, never tried yet xp64 so maybe it will beat vista. and when i buy soon core2 duo one core will run xp other will run apps and it will be more faster.

I'm currently running XP on a Core 2 Duo E6600. Runs like an absolute dream and I'm only using the 32bit version.

To be honest, there is little need to set the affinity so that one processor runs XP, the other apps. XP is surprisingly good at load balancing between the two.

I've tried Vista on a a friend's machine (the idiot bought it on release) and I'm not going near the thing. XP is great for me.

Word of warning for people who do upgrade though : if you buy the 'upgrade version' you CANNOT uninstall it and go back to XP. Once you register Vista it invalidates your old XP license and you cannot reactivate XP with it. It sucks beyond belief - you'd have to start using a cracked XP even though you bought it originally.

[Reverser]

lol this one from bash.org/?top is killing me

<Zybl0re> get up

<Zybl0re> get on up

<Zybl0re> get up

<Zybl0re> get on up

<phxl|paper> and DANCE

* nmp3bot dances -<

* nmp3bot dances |-<

* nmp3bot dances /-<

<[sA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

.

rotfl

[Reverser]

I think this one is a good one too

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right

BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...

BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH

BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU

BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES

BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY

BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES

BlackAdder> IN FACT

BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW

BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE

BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG

*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*

*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right

CRCError> right

heartless> Right.

r3v> right

[Loki]

I spent ages reading them yesterday.... really are worth a read. Some absolute genius comments in there!